Friday, March 7, 2014

7 Ideas for Combatting New England Winter

Poor Snowman

While at a dear friend's house yesterday, she and I couldn't help but giggle over a magazine article that had suggestions for how to make the most of winter.  One of the suggestions was to have outdoor gatherings. The picture was of a group of adults huddled under blankets and multiple layers of thermal outerwear, sitting around a giant bonfire in the middle of their own private lake, the lights of their cabin glistening in the background.

This is not real life.

Who are these people? In what magical, drug-induced fantasy land to they live? I don't have a cabin! Or a lake! And city regulations will *certainly* prohibit me from lighting a bonfire on my tiny tiny tiny porch.  Furthermore, I have kids. Even if I could manage to convince my poor friends that an outdoor gathering in New England winter is a good idea, what would we do with the kids???? 

But this article did make me laugh. And that made this cold, bleak winter just a little bit better. So in the spirit of awful, ridiculous suggestions for making your own winter a little better, I present you with:

7 Ways to Make the Best of Winter
Go to to read everyone else's "real" posts

1. Go to the Zoo

It's really important in winter to find time outside of the house.  The kids are getting restless, which doesn't make your life any easier. Why not go to the zoo? Visiting off-season means that there won't be nearly as many crowds.  Plus, I don't know about you, but I find zoos to be overwhelming! SO MANY ANIMALS! Avoid animal over-load by visiting on the coldest day, so that as many animals as possible will be safely tucked away in their non-viewing habitats for winter.  Then you have time to thoroughly enjoy the wolverine habitat without being bothered with visiting those pesky baby elephants.

2. Learn How to Knit
Nothing says 'warm and cozy' like a hand-knit scarf.  Knitting is really easy to pick up when you find yourself in total isolation for weeks on end. Simply bend over your computer screen and strain your eyes by watching and re-watching and re-watching instructional YouTube videos.  After you've thrown away your first seven projects (because they will be total rubbish anyway-- that's just how it goes), you'll have completed your scarf masterpiece just in time for Spring!

3. Pick up a Drinking Habit
The tail-end of winter is a great time to start drinking.  Everyone else has given up alcohol for Lent, so you'll find the shelves pleasantly stocked with all sorts of vice-inducing beverages.  Plus, drinking warms the belly. Just as St. Bernard. He knows. Of course, this only works if you don't have a drinking habit already, in which case you might want to consider...

4. Drop a Drinking Habit
The holidays are a great time to give up drinking! Vices are expensive-- and who needs that financial strain to compound the stress of holiday get-togethers? With all the money you'll save, you can now buy your friends and family truly meaningful gifts so that they can successfully achieve #3.

5. Pick up a New Sport
Nothing combats cabin fever like a good outdoor activity.  While some people prefer the extreme sports of polar plunges and frozen 5-Ks, maybe you could consider a more community-friendly activity like competitive snow-shoveling? The city desperately needs the help and you need the exercise. It's a win-win.

6. Have a Sauna Party
Even though it's bad for your skin, winter is the best time to spoil yourself with extended shower time.  Nothing else can quite melt away that persistent cold like a forty-minute scalding-hot shower.  Why not extend that idea and create a social event? Invite your friends over for a sauna evening. Prior to the guests arrival, run the shower for at least three hours on its hottest setting, leaving the bathroom door open.  Soon, your apartment will be filled with rejuvenating steam.  Be sure to have fresh linens available for guests who feel the need to disrobe immediately upon entering. 

7. Pick up Blogging
Nothing alleviates frustration like a good 'rant' now and again.  Your family and friends are sick of you complaining about how long the winter is (seriously-- they're going through it, too, aren't they? Suck it up!)... but the internet is a source of almost unlimited, yet-untapped ranting receptacles.  Point people toward your blog with reckless abandon and relish in the delight that thanks to your blogging savvy, two more people now know that you are sick of winter. 

What about you? What are your ideas? 

Have a Blessed Friday!!!
The Summa Momma


  1. Ooh! I personally love the idea of developing a drinking habit while knitting at a sauna party. At this point, I'm ready for anything that keeps me feeling warm to my core. How many weeks until spring?

    1. Bahahaha I love that idea, too!!! But now I'm thinking about knitting with soggy yarn and that makes me shudder a little.

  2. Hahaha, initially I read this on a feed reader on my phone...and that photo didn't pop up (Bloglovin' is clearly not the best). Good thing I came to your actual blog! That photo makes everything EVEN FUNNIER, if that's possible. I love it.