Saturday, March 22, 2014

An Open Letter


Dear Undergraduate Girl on the Bus,

I’m sure you will never read this blog, but maybe one of your friends will-- you know, the friends who were chatting with you today as I boarded the campus shuttle with my two toddlers?  It was a little before noon and admittedly the bus was busier than normal, but I was so happy to see that the window seat next to you was open. At least one of my girls could sit in safety!

When I asked if my daughter could have that open seat, however, you looked up at me and said: “That seat is wet.” Shocked and very grateful that you saved me from such an error, I looked in the seat to find.... four droplets of water.  That’s right: four teeny, tiny, itsy bitsy drops. I looked at you blankly as you stood your ground, neither scooting over nor shifting your legs to let my daughter through.

By now, the driver was waiting for me to sit down or move out of the aisle. More people had to board. I suggested, perhaps too condescendingly, that you might try wiping it off with your sleeve. Though fleeting, the look you gave me was full of disgust and disbelief. You were clearly not going to touch the water.

Fortunately, two magnanimous gentlemen gave up *both* of their seats so that my two daughters and I could sit behind you.  As I sat down, juggling one toddler and a diaper bag, I quickly reached over the back of the seat and wiped away the droplets that you couldn’t bring yourself to touch.  I believe I said, “There. It’s dry,” and tried to keep my cool as you and your friends exchanged 90’s-style “Whatever” glances and rolled your eyes.

I have to admit I felt a little smug when we pulled up to the next stop and you were able to scoot over for someone else, all because I had gallantly saved you from the inconvenience of having to get a corner of your sleeve slightly damp.

At first, I was very angry at you.  I thought you were either selfish or inept or completely stupid (which is difficult to believe considering the incredibly prestigious technical institute you attend)-- but these are not very good Christian things to think.  So I tried to imagine what could have possibly made you react the way you did and thank the Lord, I believe I finally understand why you couldn’t possibly have wiped off those droplets:

You have rabies. 

My heart goes out to you, Undergraduate Girl on the Bus.  If I were in your position I would be bitter and frightened of water as well.  I cannot even imagine the strife you must go through on a regular basis-- having to hide your disease as you neurotically avoid puddles and layer on the dry shampoo and deodorant just hoping your roommate doesn’t suggest a shower.  It is a tough life you live. And I am sorry for thinking so ill of you. I will pray that God cures you of this horrible disease so that you will never have to live in fear of four tiny water droplets ever again.

Also, thank you for not biting my children.

The Summa Momma

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